1 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:50,920 It's a lovely day out. 2 00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:52,500 Is it nice? 3 00:00:53,540 --> 00:00:57,860 Nice? What a way to start the morning by being stared at by a cold fish. 4 00:00:58,180 --> 00:00:59,240 I never looked at you. 5 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,960 Not you, you idiot. This apology for a kipper here. 6 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,000 Yeah, well, what's wrong with it? What's wrong with it? 7 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,780 I reckon they didn't need to smoke this by the colour of it. It died of nicotine 8 00:01:08,780 --> 00:01:09,780 poisoning. 9 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,520 Oh, stop moaning. 10 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,060 He didn't stand having any breakfast this morning. 11 00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:15,500 Not if he's got any sense. 12 00:01:15,930 --> 00:01:18,630 Well, you don't have to eat it if you don't want to. I don't intend to. Well, 13 00:01:18,630 --> 00:01:19,950 don't. Mum! 14 00:01:20,490 --> 00:01:21,490 What? 15 00:01:22,030 --> 00:01:24,130 You've got a clean pair of underpants for me. 16 00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:25,550 What do you want them for? 17 00:01:25,790 --> 00:01:28,550 Because I've got a blessing medical down at the depot, haven't I? 18 00:01:28,870 --> 00:01:30,330 Oh, hello, love. 19 00:01:30,530 --> 00:01:33,730 I see you're ready for the medical then, sir. Oh, blimey, don't you start. 20 00:01:33,970 --> 00:01:36,630 Oh, cheer up, mate. You'll be a bit of a skive. 21 00:01:36,850 --> 00:01:38,630 Oh, what are you worried about? It'll be a bit of fun. 22 00:01:39,210 --> 00:01:40,710 I wouldn't be too sure about that. 23 00:01:42,210 --> 00:01:43,210 What do you mean? 24 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,600 We had a medical down there a place not so long ago. 25 00:01:46,180 --> 00:01:48,180 Young fella there, not unlike you, Stanley. 26 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,040 Just as healthy looking, had his medical. 27 00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:53,580 Month later, dead as that kipper there. 28 00:01:54,420 --> 00:01:56,200 And of a very similar colour. 29 00:01:57,340 --> 00:01:58,640 You trying to frighten me? 30 00:01:58,860 --> 00:02:00,660 Well, I tell you something, mate, you're wasting your time. 31 00:02:00,940 --> 00:02:05,360 No, it's not that. I just don't fancy being mauled about by some decrepit old 32 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:06,360 doctor. 33 00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:08,660 Blake. 34 00:02:10,910 --> 00:02:12,790 Oh, sir. Everything is prepared for the medical. 35 00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,830 Doctors are right, canteen's ready, there's a list of people for 36 00:02:16,110 --> 00:02:16,969 Oh, isn't it? 37 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,770 Wouldn't fancy the doctor's job this morning, sir. 38 00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:21,030 Makes you happen to look at this horrible lot, eh? 39 00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:24,670 Butler, Harper, Blake and... Blake, sir? 40 00:02:25,890 --> 00:02:26,890 That's my name, sir. 41 00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:28,190 That's right. 42 00:02:29,070 --> 00:02:31,370 But I'm an inspector, sir. No one is exempt. 43 00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:36,590 Well, don't mind me saying so, sir, but I don't see your name, darling, is 44 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:40,190 there? No, it's quite correct. I'm on the afternoon list. Management, you 45 00:02:40,670 --> 00:02:44,350 Yes, sir, but apart from the fact that you undermined my authority to be 46 00:02:44,350 --> 00:02:46,830 examined in front of the rank and file, sir, you seem to have overlooked the 47 00:02:46,830 --> 00:02:50,250 fact that I have applied for another job with another company, sir. Yes, I know 48 00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:53,210 about that. They consulted me with regard to your references. 49 00:02:53,670 --> 00:02:54,489 Did they, sir? 50 00:02:54,490 --> 00:02:55,490 Indeed, they did. 51 00:02:55,570 --> 00:02:58,570 I think I can safely say that I shall be sorry to see you go. 52 00:02:59,170 --> 00:03:03,110 Well, I'll be sorry to go, sir, but when is the chance for promotion? I 53 00:03:03,110 --> 00:03:05,610 appreciate that. One must move on to pastures new. 54 00:03:05,850 --> 00:03:07,810 Yes, sir. Well, I think I'll get the job, sir. 55 00:03:08,430 --> 00:03:10,630 You're more or less told I will, sir. I believe you will. 56 00:03:10,830 --> 00:03:14,890 No, sir, you misunderstand, sir. I mean, there's no point. You see, I'll be 57 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:17,930 having a medical when I take up my new appointment, sir. There's no point in 58 00:03:17,930 --> 00:03:21,650 being examined here, sir. The rules state quite categorically that all 59 00:03:21,650 --> 00:03:23,430 will be examined without exception. 60 00:03:23,750 --> 00:03:26,730 Yeah, but couldn't you have a look at the files yourself, sir? I mean, don't 61 00:03:26,730 --> 00:03:27,730 mind the rules, sir. 62 00:03:29,390 --> 00:03:30,650 Don't mind the rules? 63 00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:32,390 I didn't mean that, sir. 64 00:03:33,170 --> 00:03:34,170 I'll tell you what I'll do. 65 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:38,120 I'll have a quiet word with the doctor. I can't say fairer than that, can I? 66 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:39,478 Thank you, sir. 67 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:40,119 That's right. 68 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,400 Carry on, Blake. Leave it to me. 69 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,180 Don't mind the rules. 70 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:50,560 Right, fine, anything? 71 00:03:51,020 --> 00:03:52,720 Yeah. Here, get your fag, will you, mate? Yeah, sure. 72 00:03:53,420 --> 00:03:55,600 Come on, you two, love. That's what you're hanging about for. 73 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,480 We're waiting for our medical, aren't we? 74 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,760 Well, it's not here, you idiot, is it? It's in the canteen. 75 00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:03,960 Look, mate, I don't care if I don't have a medical. You definitely do have to 76 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,500 have a medical, mate. There's only one person compelled here not to have a 77 00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:07,500 medical, and that's yours truly. 78 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:10,280 Oh, blimey, you look as if you need a medical more than anybody. 79 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,580 Anyway, we need a good laugh. 80 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,179 Very funny. 81 00:04:14,180 --> 00:04:16,220 Yeah. You don't look as though you've got too long to go. 82 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,279 Yeah, what do you mean by that remark? 83 00:04:18,579 --> 00:04:21,500 Well, let's put it this way. If it was a second -hand car, we wouldn't get much 84 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:22,500 for you for scrap. 85 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:24,240 Twit. 86 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,760 There's certain cases in which a medical examination is unnecessary. I am such a 87 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,860 case. Blimey, you're a case, all right. 88 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,920 Listen, you pair of ignorant specimens. 89 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,180 I'm not going to say any word to you. I'm an inspector. Now, you get in there 90 00:04:37,180 --> 00:04:38,180 and get your trousers down. 91 00:04:41,660 --> 00:04:42,660 Blake, 92 00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:46,900 I've had a word in the right quarter. 93 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,760 Oh, it's all settled in, is it? Yes. 94 00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:50,540 You've got to take the medical. OK. 95 00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:55,800 Well, I had a word with the doctor, but as I warned you, rules are rules, fair 96 00:04:55,800 --> 00:05:00,180 enough. No, no, sir. I mean, there's no point I'll be leaving soon. I don't see 97 00:05:00,180 --> 00:05:03,640 why you're objecting. No, sir, because your management, you've never had to 98 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:07,000 suffer the humiliation of having to have a medical examination in front of 99 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,680 Butler and Harper with them standing there laughing at you. Get a grip of 100 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:10,680 yourself, man. 101 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:12,740 They don't laugh at you, do they? 102 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,840 What are you hanging about for? Get on with it. You can't make it spin out all 103 00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:18,840 day, you know. 104 00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:23,480 Oh, come on, Jack. Oh, look at this lot here. 105 00:05:23,980 --> 00:05:26,200 How are you, mate? How's that fashion you're charging for? 106 00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:30,400 It's like a butcher's shop in here. Yeah, what a lot, eh? The depot's art at 107 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:31,400 old Calcutta. 108 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,900 Is that where the medical is? The medical? 109 00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:38,220 Yeah, that's right, darling. You've got to get stripped off to the waist. 110 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:42,800 What? All of us? Yes, well, you see, the doctor is going to examine our chests. 111 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,900 Yeah, so get them off, love. Come on, get them off. But you're all men. 112 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,780 Oh, so we are, yeah. 113 00:05:49,420 --> 00:05:50,420 Well, uh... 114 00:05:50,460 --> 00:05:51,620 Well, more or less, you know. 115 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:53,860 What are you doing here? 116 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:55,400 I've come for me medical. 117 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,320 Yeah, she's just about to slip off, Blackie. 118 00:05:57,540 --> 00:05:58,359 Is she? 119 00:05:58,360 --> 00:05:59,860 Yes. But you're a woman. 120 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,340 Marvellous, eh? He knows the facts of life. 121 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:06,960 Look, you're not having your medical till tomorrow now. Come on, get out of 122 00:06:06,980 --> 00:06:10,080 I can't have you upsetting all my men. That's all right, Blackie, we don't 123 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:11,240 Get out of it. 124 00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:13,200 Come and shove up a bit, will you? Shove up before. 125 00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:17,280 I've come in here to keep an eye on things, that's what. Yeah, well, I'll 126 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:19,760 you something. If it hadn't been for you, me and Jack would have kept our eye 127 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:20,760 one or two other things. 128 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:25,120 Would you mind getting your jacket on and going out, please, miss? Yeah, 129 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,140 you got nothing better to do? 130 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,600 No. As a matter of fact, I think I'll have a medical after all. 131 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:35,300 Oh, so that's why you're here, is it? I knew you had to have one. Yes, Dan, 132 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,260 looks like we're going to get all off after all. 133 00:06:39,060 --> 00:06:40,060 Well, come on, then. 134 00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:43,080 Come on what? Come on, get them off. 135 00:06:45,220 --> 00:06:47,480 The body's beautiful, mate. Come on. 136 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:57,840 He strips well. He strips well. Come on, get him off. He strips well. 137 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:11,880 You frightened of getting a cold on your head? 138 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:16,040 That is there to remind you that I am still your superior. 139 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,060 Is that a fact? We can do better than that. 140 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:19,860 Let's put your medals on you then, mate. 141 00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:26,080 Can we have the first gentleman, please? Mr Butler. 142 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,660 Butler. Oh, that's me. See you later then. 143 00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:31,380 Hey, Jack, I tell you... Where are you going? 144 00:07:31,780 --> 00:07:32,780 I'm coming with you. 145 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,160 What, in there? 146 00:07:35,380 --> 00:07:37,900 Yes. What, while I'm being examined? 147 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:40,080 I shall be assisting the doctor. 148 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:44,620 Well, sorry, miss, but I don't have young ladies in there while I'm taking 149 00:07:44,620 --> 00:07:45,620 trousers off, you know. 150 00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:49,560 I'm a trained nurse. What's the matter, Stan? A bit shy, are you? Mind your own 151 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,880 business. And you'll be welcome to have a look when it's my turn. 152 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:59,920 If you really prefer it, I'm sure the doctor can manage without me. Yes, well, 153 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:03,100 would really, darling. Thanks very much. Very well. It's quite a pleasure. Thank 154 00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:04,100 you very much indeed. 155 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:05,520 Appreciate that. 156 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,860 That's right, Mr Butler. Take your trousers down, please. 157 00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:19,200 Come on, Jack, get a move on. Ah, shush. 158 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:22,280 We don't want to hurry. We don't want to take the bus out this morning, do we? 159 00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:23,460 What are you whispering for? 160 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,900 Shush. Frankie's in there, isn't he? Oh. Here, come on, let's have a peek at him 161 00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:28,180 with his trousers down. Oh, yeah. 162 00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:32,020 How are you feeling? 163 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,820 Oh, I'm bearing up pretty well, considering, Doctor. 164 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,919 You know I think this is a waste of time, don't you? 165 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:40,700 Yes, I know. You think it's pointless. 166 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,000 Yes, well, it is, isn't it? I mean to say, you know my days here are numbered. 167 00:08:46,980 --> 00:08:47,980 Yes, I'm sorry. 168 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:51,460 Still, it's worth having this check -up, even though you won't be with us much 169 00:08:51,460 --> 00:08:54,620 longer. I don't see the point. I can't see the point at all. 170 00:08:54,980 --> 00:08:58,540 I mean, after all, I won't be here when the report comes out, will I? 171 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:00,060 Oh, let's hope so. 172 00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:01,599 Oh, I don't know. 173 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,640 The way I've been suffering lately, I think I'll be glad to get out of this 174 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:05,640 misery. 175 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:10,400 See what she said? Yeah. She said he won't be with us much longer. Yeah, he 176 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,480 his days here are numbered. 177 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,340 Yeah. You're not thinking what I'm thinking, are you? 178 00:09:17,289 --> 00:09:23,230 Doctor, you know, I haven't told anyone yet, and I'd appreciate it if you kept 179 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,230 it to yourself, you know. 180 00:09:24,650 --> 00:09:25,650 Oh, my God. 181 00:09:26,930 --> 00:09:30,050 Yes, mind you, they'll be glad when I'm gone out of it. 182 00:09:30,390 --> 00:09:33,470 Well, I think you ought to tell them. They might be upset. 183 00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:35,510 I'm sure they'll be upset. 184 00:09:35,990 --> 00:09:39,710 What? No, they won't miss me. They'll be glad when I'm gone, I'll tell you that. 185 00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:41,230 Particularly Butler and Harper. 186 00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:47,280 It sounds as though old Blake is going to snuff it. Yeah, he's a goner. 187 00:09:48,660 --> 00:09:49,660 Here, come here. 188 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:51,440 Here. 189 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:53,740 What are we going to do? 190 00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:55,920 Well, put him on another 11th of the cemetery gates. 191 00:09:57,940 --> 00:09:58,940 Mate! 192 00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:03,340 I admire his guts, the way he's taken it. Yeah, and all those things you said 193 00:10:03,340 --> 00:10:04,340 about him. Yeah. 194 00:10:04,660 --> 00:10:05,660 What I said? 195 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:09,560 All the things you... All the things you said about him. Well... 196 00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:14,710 Poor old Blakey. Yeah, poor old Dracula. No, don't call him that now. 197 00:10:15,270 --> 00:10:18,990 Well, he wasn't a bad sort of a bloke. No, no, you can look. No, don't forget, 198 00:10:19,030 --> 00:10:20,030 we could have had worse, mate. 199 00:10:21,270 --> 00:10:24,770 Do you know what, Jack? From now on, I'm going to be as nice as possible to him 200 00:10:24,770 --> 00:10:27,450 for the last few days he's got left in this world. 201 00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:30,670 I'll tell you what, Jack. 202 00:10:31,550 --> 00:10:32,770 Let's get the bus out on time. 203 00:10:32,970 --> 00:10:33,970 Aye. 204 00:10:34,090 --> 00:10:35,590 Oh, if we had a cup of tea, of course. 205 00:11:08,910 --> 00:11:10,990 Well, I ain't going to ask him. Well, I don't know. 206 00:11:11,210 --> 00:11:12,690 I'll have to play it by ear, won't I? 207 00:11:12,990 --> 00:11:16,410 But remember, Jack, if he's bad -tempered, it's because he's in very 208 00:11:16,650 --> 00:11:17,890 Oh, that's why he's so horrible. 209 00:11:18,090 --> 00:11:19,090 I thought it was his nature. 210 00:11:19,550 --> 00:11:20,990 That's it, that's it. Here he is, there he is, there he is. 211 00:11:21,610 --> 00:11:24,790 Come on, you. See, we're hanging about for you. Do out, you know you are. 212 00:11:25,050 --> 00:11:25,789 All right. 213 00:11:25,790 --> 00:11:27,130 Don't get excited, Blakey. 214 00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:29,790 Don't get excited? Get the bus out. 215 00:11:31,530 --> 00:11:32,850 Look at him. What do you look like? 216 00:11:33,710 --> 00:11:35,910 You look like a couple of undertakers just found a corpse. 217 00:11:38,170 --> 00:11:41,790 Blakey, don't talk like that. I'll talk how I like it, the bastard. 218 00:11:42,610 --> 00:11:47,050 Well, Blakey, to tell you the truth, I want to know if you'd like to come round 219 00:11:47,050 --> 00:11:48,050 my house to tea. 220 00:11:48,430 --> 00:11:50,910 Get out of here. No, no, no, he means it, Blakey, honestly. 221 00:11:51,630 --> 00:11:52,870 What for? 222 00:11:53,370 --> 00:11:55,670 Well, I'd like us to be friends. 223 00:11:56,130 --> 00:11:59,590 You see, that's why I'd like you to come home and have tea with me and my family 224 00:11:59,590 --> 00:12:00,630 at my house tonight. 225 00:12:02,170 --> 00:12:03,170 Is it free? 226 00:12:04,070 --> 00:12:05,070 Well, of course it... 227 00:12:05,710 --> 00:12:07,630 Well, of course, it's a free tea. 228 00:12:07,990 --> 00:12:11,790 Oh. All right. All right, I'll tell you what. I'll give it a child, Butler. 229 00:12:12,170 --> 00:12:16,110 After I've finished my last shift, I'll come round. OK. Now, get the bus out! 230 00:12:22,010 --> 00:12:26,910 There. That looks lovely. Now, the inspector can sit there. Yes, and I've 231 00:12:26,910 --> 00:12:28,970 prepared something easy to digest. 232 00:12:29,350 --> 00:12:31,550 Lovely white -boiled fish and semolina. 233 00:12:31,990 --> 00:12:33,230 What's for after, sir? 234 00:12:33,930 --> 00:12:34,930 Oh, my God. 235 00:12:35,490 --> 00:12:37,270 Don't you think of anything but your belly? 236 00:12:38,010 --> 00:12:39,310 Look, will you two shut up? 237 00:12:39,870 --> 00:12:42,850 Now, look, you'll be here any minute now. Now, when he arrives, act normal. 238 00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:45,330 Do you understand what I mean? Oh, are you paying attention? 239 00:12:45,630 --> 00:12:48,590 Act normal. Don't let him see because he doesn't know we know, right? 240 00:12:48,870 --> 00:12:50,730 I mean, we don't want to upset him just because he's going to die. 241 00:12:51,150 --> 00:12:52,530 Just because he's going to die? 242 00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:54,370 I'd be upset if it was me. 243 00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:56,270 Well, of course you'd be upset. He is. 244 00:12:57,330 --> 00:13:00,430 Well, blow it. That's why we mustn't say anything. Now, don't forget, not 245 00:13:00,430 --> 00:13:01,570 another word about it. 246 00:13:01,810 --> 00:13:02,629 Quite right. 247 00:13:02,630 --> 00:13:03,630 Not another word. 248 00:13:03,930 --> 00:13:04,930 No. 249 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,590 Here, what exactly is wrong with him? 250 00:13:08,430 --> 00:13:13,010 I don't know, Mum, but he's a goner. Oh, if he's a goner, it must be serious. 251 00:13:13,690 --> 00:13:16,430 My goodness, we have a genius in the family. 252 00:13:17,550 --> 00:13:23,330 Well, all I can say is that if he goes tonight, he'll have finished on a lovely 253 00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:26,110 meal. Oh, yes. Oh, yes, indeed. 254 00:13:26,910 --> 00:13:29,770 I mean, how much we all like white -boiled fish. 255 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:34,370 Yes, especially in Belize. Well, I don't. Well, you're not dying. 256 00:13:34,950 --> 00:13:36,270 And that was so selfish. 257 00:13:37,209 --> 00:13:39,610 Anyway, it's the inspector's party tonight. 258 00:13:39,950 --> 00:13:42,870 Yes, well, look, he'll be here shortly. Now, don't you think you two better go 259 00:13:42,870 --> 00:13:43,749 and get changed? 260 00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:48,630 Yes, go on. Well, play the game, love. Oh, love, I've got some lovely flowers. 261 00:13:48,950 --> 00:13:52,550 Oh, did you? Oh, good, Mum. Now, look nice on the table, then. Yes, love, the 262 00:13:52,550 --> 00:13:56,670 only thing was, love, that when I was talking to the florist about the 263 00:13:56,670 --> 00:14:01,450 inspector, I don't think they quite understood, love, because... Well... 264 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,280 Goldie's not dead yet. 265 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:12,020 Well, I know, love, but you see, they've made such a lovely job of him. I didn't 266 00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:13,060 want to take him back. 267 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:16,200 Anyway, love, it's the thought that counts. 268 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:20,080 Mum, we're supposed to cheer him up, not remind him about it. 269 00:14:20,380 --> 00:14:24,160 I suppose you've ordered an hearse to take him home. Oh, don't joke. 270 00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,300 Anyway, what am I going to do with them? 271 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:29,640 Well, save it for the funeral. 272 00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:31,920 There's the doorbell. That'll be it. 273 00:14:32,140 --> 00:14:35,340 No, we have to... No, no, no. I've got to get a bucket of coal, Mum. No, no, 274 00:14:35,340 --> 00:14:37,940 You haven't got a bucket of coal. There's a bucket of coal there. Now, you 275 00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:40,840 and let him in. Yes, right. Well, don't stand there. You'll catch his death. 276 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:52,320 Oh, good evening, Blakey. I've come to take from work, as I said. Oh, I thought 277 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,640 you would. Well, don't stand there. You look frozen stiff. 278 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,480 I mean... Come in. You must be cold. 279 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:58,760 Yes. 280 00:14:58,880 --> 00:14:59,679 Perishing out there. 281 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:02,770 Yes. Right, take the coat and come in. It's warm in here. 282 00:15:03,730 --> 00:15:05,330 I'll put it on there for now, shall we? 283 00:15:05,950 --> 00:15:06,950 Come in here. 284 00:15:07,830 --> 00:15:10,130 Mum, mum, the inspector's arrived. 285 00:15:10,490 --> 00:15:13,790 Oh, I've just finished it off up here, love. Here, put another bag of the coal 286 00:15:13,790 --> 00:15:15,150 on the fire. That's a good boy. Yeah, I will. 287 00:15:15,570 --> 00:15:16,990 Come and warm yourself up, Blakey. 288 00:15:18,930 --> 00:15:23,350 It's a bit cold, isn't it? No, no, Blakey. No, don't stand here. Sit down. 289 00:15:23,350 --> 00:15:24,350 yourself at home. Oh, yes. 290 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:29,900 It's all right. Blakey just kicked a bucket. 291 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:33,280 What? 292 00:15:33,380 --> 00:15:35,000 Oh, I've got you, God. 293 00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:37,700 God? 294 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:38,980 I've only just got here. 295 00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,100 Have you taken me a prize? 296 00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:45,340 You're all right, Mrs. Butler. You don't look too well, do you? 297 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,820 Shall we go and get a doctor? No, no, she's all right. She's very well. As a 298 00:15:48,820 --> 00:15:50,240 matter of fact, we're all very well. 299 00:15:50,540 --> 00:15:54,560 Yes, I'm as fit as a proverbial fiddle. 300 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:56,880 Wonderful. 301 00:15:57,260 --> 00:16:00,060 Mum, mum, mum, mum, mum. You look wonderful, Inspector. 302 00:16:00,820 --> 00:16:02,020 Yes, you couldn't look better. 303 00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:05,100 Oh, 304 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,160 please don't get up. 305 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,880 How are you feeling now, Mr Blake? 306 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:13,340 Oh, fine, thanks. 307 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:14,960 Yes. 308 00:16:15,150 --> 00:16:16,510 My words, you do look well. 309 00:16:17,290 --> 00:16:19,270 Yes, quite in the pink. 310 00:16:19,930 --> 00:16:21,190 Terrific, eh, Olive? What? 311 00:16:21,450 --> 00:16:24,070 I was saying how well the inspector looks. Yes, really well. 312 00:16:24,930 --> 00:16:28,230 My word, I can't remember when I saw you looking so well. 313 00:16:29,090 --> 00:16:30,930 Arthur, he doesn't look as well as all that. 314 00:16:31,550 --> 00:16:35,890 Well, what I meant was he doesn't look sort of obviously well. 315 00:16:36,230 --> 00:16:38,650 Just sort of normal well. 316 00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:41,650 Like, well, very well. 317 00:16:44,330 --> 00:16:46,650 Well, how are things down at the depot, Inspector? 318 00:16:47,070 --> 00:16:48,210 Well, pretty well, you know. 319 00:16:50,990 --> 00:16:55,850 Same old routine, eh? Yeah, yeah. Same old route, eh, Blakey? Out of the depot, 320 00:16:55,850 --> 00:16:57,390 straight down to the cemetery gates. 321 00:16:58,650 --> 00:16:59,650 Well, 322 00:17:00,490 --> 00:17:02,710 Mum, how about some grub before we all die of hunger? 323 00:17:02,930 --> 00:17:03,930 Oh, yes! 324 00:17:04,270 --> 00:17:05,270 Yes, 325 00:17:05,410 --> 00:17:08,650 um, do you sit at the end of the table next to Mum? Let me help you. 326 00:17:09,390 --> 00:17:10,390 Yes, 327 00:17:10,510 --> 00:17:12,310 lovely. You sit there, Arthur. 328 00:17:13,609 --> 00:17:14,609 Here we are. 329 00:17:14,790 --> 00:17:17,270 Some lovely, nice, white, bold fish. 330 00:17:17,490 --> 00:17:19,170 Just what the doctor ordered. 331 00:17:19,950 --> 00:17:23,650 It looks quite palatable. 332 00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:26,109 Yes, I cooked it in your honour. 333 00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:29,870 I don't know how to thank you. 334 00:17:30,070 --> 00:17:31,490 All of you, really. 335 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:38,610 I'm quite overcome by this display of kindness. I must say, you know, you 336 00:17:38,610 --> 00:17:41,910 couldn't have known, of course, but I won't be around much longer. 337 00:17:42,890 --> 00:17:45,050 Yes, I won't be with you much longer, you know. 338 00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:48,870 Yes, me days amongst you are numbered. 339 00:17:51,030 --> 00:17:53,210 Oh, no, it can't be true. 340 00:17:54,370 --> 00:17:57,350 Oh, yes, yes, well, one must go on to pastures new. 341 00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:02,170 Well, I'd like to say that we'll all miss you very much. 342 00:18:02,670 --> 00:18:03,670 Hear, hear. 343 00:18:06,390 --> 00:18:08,810 It's a funny old world, isn't it, Amos? Oh, yes. 344 00:18:09,290 --> 00:18:11,610 You never know who your real friends are, do you? 345 00:18:12,270 --> 00:18:14,070 I thought they'd be glad to see the back of me. 346 00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,630 I did. I'll tell you, and I'll confess this. 347 00:18:17,050 --> 00:18:21,410 This morning, I told the doctor down at the depot, I said, I think that some of 348 00:18:21,410 --> 00:18:23,450 them will be glad to see the back of me, particularly Butler. 349 00:18:24,450 --> 00:18:25,850 What a shocking thing to say. 350 00:18:26,390 --> 00:18:27,470 No, you're dead wrong. 351 00:18:30,590 --> 00:18:32,630 What I mean to say is that... 352 00:18:33,260 --> 00:18:37,580 We admire you for taking the way you're leaving so bravely. 353 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:40,500 You don't need to be brave about it. I can't hang on forever, can I? 354 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:45,480 I would like to shake you by the hand, Mr Blake. 355 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,280 You going on? 356 00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:57,360 What I'd like to say is we're all so sad about the news and I'll do my best to 357 00:18:57,360 --> 00:19:01,980 make your days, few days at the depot, as happy as possible. 358 00:19:03,270 --> 00:19:05,130 It's a very noble sentiment, Stanley. 359 00:19:05,510 --> 00:19:06,510 Thanks, Arthur. 360 00:19:06,530 --> 00:19:07,930 I can't stand it! 361 00:19:11,030 --> 00:19:14,270 I didn't think you'd all be so affected. 362 00:19:15,290 --> 00:19:21,430 I mean, you know, with any luck, I'll be around in a few weeks to come. 363 00:19:21,690 --> 00:19:24,190 Oh, well, eat up your fish, then. 364 00:19:24,510 --> 00:19:25,630 It's full of vitamins. 365 00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:36,440 Well, Tony, you're a fellow, so now you know the old truth. 366 00:19:36,820 --> 00:19:37,820 Well, 367 00:19:38,060 --> 00:19:39,060 I'm not surprised. 368 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:40,280 I always said he was a sick man. 369 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,560 Yeah, well, the point is, Stan and me thought we ought to have a whip round to 370 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:46,040 buy him a present. Well, Stan did. I'm not all that fussy myself. 371 00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:48,540 Well, he's not going to be around long to enjoy it, is he? 372 00:19:48,780 --> 00:19:49,960 Yes, yes, you've got a point there. 373 00:19:50,260 --> 00:19:52,720 Yeah, well, we've got to buy him a present to suit the occasion. 374 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:54,540 Well, what about a harp? 375 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:55,900 Oh, no, be serious. 376 00:19:56,660 --> 00:19:58,780 No, you're probably right. He won't be going up there anyway. 377 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,360 You've got to be charitable, haven't you? Think of something sensible. 378 00:20:02,620 --> 00:20:03,620 All right, here. 379 00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:06,180 How about getting him something on a couple of months' approval? 380 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:09,140 Then when he stuffs it, we can send it back and it won't cost us a penny. 381 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,360 Well, blimey, I've heard of mean people, but you take the cake. 382 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:16,780 No, no, no. Seriously, look, let's rent him a telly. Then when he dies, we can 383 00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:19,320 shove it in the canteen and that way we all get something out of it. 384 00:20:20,030 --> 00:20:23,010 I'm absolutely ashamed of you, mate. I really am. It's got to be something 385 00:20:23,010 --> 00:20:25,750 personal, innit? Look, you do the whip round, I'll buy the present. 386 00:20:26,470 --> 00:20:28,430 There's only one thing that's worrying me, though. What's that? 387 00:20:29,430 --> 00:20:31,110 How the hell are we going to tell him? 388 00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:32,189 What do you mean? 389 00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:35,970 Well, I can't just bowl up to him and say, excuse me, Blakey, but do you mind 390 00:20:35,970 --> 00:20:39,130 telling us the exact day you're going to pass over so we can give you a present? 391 00:20:39,390 --> 00:20:42,530 Oh, yeah, yeah, you've got a good point there. Tell you what, let's not give him 392 00:20:42,530 --> 00:20:43,530 anything. 393 00:20:44,490 --> 00:20:46,950 Oh, blimey, mate, haven't you got any respect at all? 394 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,900 I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll go straight in and see the doctor and find 395 00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:52,140 the exact day he's going to snuff it. 396 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,800 Thank you. You can put your coat on now. 397 00:21:03,860 --> 00:21:05,300 Yes? Excuse me, Doctor. 398 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:07,100 I'd like to ask you a question. 399 00:21:07,380 --> 00:21:10,240 Really? Well, you'll have to be quick because the ladies are coming in for 400 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:11,240 medical soon. 401 00:21:11,420 --> 00:21:12,420 Oh, really? 402 00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:15,220 Yes. So hurry up now. What is it? 403 00:21:15,690 --> 00:21:19,130 Oh, yes, I'd like to ask you a question about our inspector. 404 00:21:19,510 --> 00:21:20,510 Which inspector? 405 00:21:20,710 --> 00:21:23,090 Well, Inspector Blake, of course. We want to know what's wrong with him. 406 00:21:23,830 --> 00:21:26,730 There's nothing wrong with him. Oh, come, come, Doctor. It's all right. You 407 00:21:26,730 --> 00:21:27,930 tell me. 408 00:21:29,050 --> 00:21:30,170 No, I can't. 409 00:21:30,650 --> 00:21:33,250 And I can't discuss my patients with you or anyone. 410 00:21:33,590 --> 00:21:34,590 Oh. 411 00:21:34,730 --> 00:21:35,730 Oh, Doctor. 412 00:21:36,530 --> 00:21:37,850 I've got a terrible pain. 413 00:21:38,410 --> 00:21:40,030 You must do something for me. 414 00:21:40,310 --> 00:21:41,310 Oh. 415 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:43,220 Blakey, come in. Come in. 416 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,360 Blakey, sit down. Sit down, Blakey. 417 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:50,020 Go out of it. Would you mind leaving out? Yes, of course, Doctor. 418 00:21:50,580 --> 00:21:52,460 I understand, Blakey. Keep the chin up. 419 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:54,400 Clear off. 420 00:21:55,260 --> 00:21:56,680 Now, what seems to be the trouble? 421 00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:59,900 Oh, I think it must have been that fish I read down in the butlers last night. 422 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,400 No wonder none of them would touch it. 423 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:09,800 Excuse me. 424 00:22:10,100 --> 00:22:11,100 Well, 425 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:20,480 ladies and gentlemen, I'm not very good at making speeches, as you all know, but 426 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:24,680 there is a few little words I've jotted down here I would like to say before he 427 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:26,480 leaves us, and that is that... 428 00:22:26,810 --> 00:22:29,090 We've all heard the sad news, we've all heard it by now. 429 00:22:29,290 --> 00:22:33,150 I would like to say he's an example to us all, and when the way is accepted, 430 00:22:33,230 --> 00:22:35,570 what must inevitably be inevitable. 431 00:22:36,170 --> 00:22:40,490 It is a very sad occasion, but Blakey, Blakey, the lads and boys and girls, 432 00:22:40,650 --> 00:22:44,070 we've all whipped round, and we've got you a nice present of some nice clean 433 00:22:44,070 --> 00:22:49,030 fruit. Now, but, but, but, before we present you with it, boys and girls, how 434 00:22:49,030 --> 00:22:51,110 about a nice big hand for Blakey? 435 00:22:56,610 --> 00:22:58,170 I've not always been happy here. 436 00:22:59,330 --> 00:23:03,710 There's ones or twos here that's conspired together to make my life a 437 00:23:05,090 --> 00:23:08,990 As a matter of fact, I've always looked forward to this as a moment of happy 438 00:23:08,990 --> 00:23:09,990 release. 439 00:23:10,090 --> 00:23:15,630 However, I've been so overwhelmed by the loyalty and kindness and affection that 440 00:23:15,630 --> 00:23:19,910 I've been shown since the news got around that I was leaving, that after 441 00:23:19,910 --> 00:23:21,730 consideration, I decided not to leave. 442 00:23:28,539 --> 00:23:33,240 Well, I don't want to upset you, Blakey, but, you know, when you were called, 443 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:34,740 you were called. 444 00:23:35,180 --> 00:23:39,000 Oh, no, no, no. No, it was never finally settled that I was actually going, no. 445 00:23:40,300 --> 00:23:41,300 What do you mean? 446 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,420 Well, I've not had a final interview yet. 447 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,020 Stan, I think we've made a horrible mistake. 448 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:52,300 Blakey, what you're trying to say is you are absolutely healthy? 449 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:54,060 Of course I'm healthy. 450 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,000 There's nothing wrong with you at all? 451 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:02,620 You've got the cheek to stand there and tell us you're not going to snuff it? 452 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:08,080 I've got no intention of snuffing it, mate. I've never felt healthy in my 453 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,440 Since I got over the effects of that rotten fish I had round your place last 454 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:12,440 night. 455 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,380 So if you don't mind, let me have that fruit and you can all get back to work. 456 00:24:15,900 --> 00:24:17,420 You've got the fruit, you can have it, mate.